I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
