Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
