Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
