found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize