i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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