if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
