if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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