there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
