i think my mom watched the whole time
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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