how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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