Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
