Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
