I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
