As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Farmville is her only friend.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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