How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
