no you cant smoke seaweed
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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