That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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