He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I want to fling myself into the sun
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
