You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
