Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize