I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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