i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
