guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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