i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Two words: blizzard sex
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
