Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
