She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
