You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Text me some of your sweat
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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