she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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