Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
