Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
