So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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