dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Let's paint friendship bongs
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize