White coat. Heels.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
