I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize