shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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