Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
