Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
cat food counts as protein by the way
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
