Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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