Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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