Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize