i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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