Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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