Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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