Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
