it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
