Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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