She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
