Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm both gender and math confused
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
