You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
