I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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