are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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