the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Is it penis luge time yet?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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