angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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