Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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