He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
