just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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