Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
