Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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