dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
