I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
